So, a Web site called Total Beauty, which seems to me to be one of the most legitimate sites possible (Who doesn't want to find a Web site that pinpoints what's wrong with your intellect, appearance and personality?), has published a list of the eight cities with the ugliest men in the country based on their teeth, hygiene, average level of obesity and education. I have no idea how they figured out which cities had the men with the worst hygiene and teeth, but they somehow did. Naturally, Katie and I felt we needed to check this list out to know what we should be avoiding on this trip. The results were...I'm not sure. A little disturbing may be the best way to phrase it.
8: Houston, Texas Evidently the men here are smelly and obese. Not to mention, according to the Web site, 15% of those 25 and older have less than a 9th grade education. That's not really too cool. Get an education... maybe you'll learn better hygiene habits in school.
7: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Right on the other side of the state, these men evidently have bad teeth. I'm not really sure what that entails... crooked teeth? Bad breath? Generally dirty teeth? Cavities? Like I said before, I'm not sure how they decided this about all men in Philadelphia, but bad teeth are a big turn off. Nobody really wants to lean in to kiss a guy with a mouth full of gross teeth.
6: Detroit, Michigan The men of Detroit evidently have a low amount of education and are part of the highest obesity rate in the country. Education really is the key to places like this. Smart men are hott. That's right, double-T hott. Graduate from high school, at least. It's free.
5: Mobile, Alabama and Huntington, West Virginia, for a tie And I quote, "terrible teeth," which as I said earlier could mean anything... missing teeth even... and "unhealthy, inactive and obese men." Believe me, I'm not a fan of exercising. I get bored with it, but I walk about 3 miles a day to and from school... maybe some days just a mile and a half if my boyfriend, Frank, picks me up or drops me off. I still get bored with that, but then I'm committed to finishing the workout, or I don't get to go home. Maybe try that. It will save you on parking and gas costs, too.
4: Greesboro, North Carolina Thanks to totalbeauty.com I now know that this lovely town is not all that sexually active. Once again, how do they know this? Did representatives from the site knock on the doors of all these houses and ask about its inhabitants' sexual activity? What is considered an average amount of sexual activity? Anyone know? Anyhow, if this is true, it makes sense to assume there are some ugly men, and probably ugly women, in this city of no sex.
3: Miami, Florida Complete shock. When I think of Miami, I think of the South Beach diet, which I'm assuming originated in Miami, but I could be wrong, and people walking around in swim wear all day. This is completely ignorant, but it's what I think. Although, based on the site's finding it may be accurate. Evidently 21% of men over 25 never made it beyond 9th grade and they're lazy. It makes sense. They quit school to lay on a beach all day. I don't know if you can fault them for that. (Really you can, but okay.)
2: Hagerstown, Maryland Here's something we haven't touched based on: Evidently all of these guys smoke. GROSS. Like I said before, nobody wants to kiss a guy with a gross mouth, and tasting like a cigarette is gross. Beyond that, nobody wants to die from their boyfriend's second hand smoke. Tonight one of my friends actually said that her boyfriend is giving her the best birthday present of all time because he was going to quit smoking. I think that says it all.
1: El Paso, Texas This Lone Star state city suffers the same vices as its neighbor, Houston. I guess Katie and I made the right decision to spend 24 hours driving straight through Texas.
While I'm pretty sure these sweeping accusations are pretty bogus, they bring up some valid points with the smoking and education and unhealthiness. I don't know what I can add about Pittsburgh. I guess all I can do is be thankful that I have Frank, who pretty much scores 100 where all of those listed above lack... Although I'm not too sure I can say that about his general smelliness, which can be sketchy at times.
I would just like to mention that I don't believe these bad qualities define all men in these areas. I'm purely basing my comments on this Web site, which I mentioned earlier, is less than the height of sophistication.