Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Naked Pose

When my Disney college program was over in August, I wanted someone to help me get back home, so Emily, being the wonderful friend she is (and I think it gave her a reason to get out of Pittsburgh), decided that she would fly down and help me get my car to the train then back to Pittsburgh in one piece.

Emily got to Florida the day after my last day of work, and the train left the next day so we got a room in one of the Disney resorts since I get a pretty nice discount.

To put it simply, we got a room upgrade and this place was amazing. Normally it would cost upwards of a grand a night and we go it for around $100! So, we decided to celebrate and get some Mikes Hard Lemonade (very classy we know, no need to tell us)- it was how I left Disney the first time and how I would leave again. And I got really drunk - now getting drunk off that sweet shit was not a good idea by any means.

It was probably one of the worst hangovers I have ever had - plus a 17-hour train ride.

I was in pain, so Emily laughed. She laughed a lot, although she did make me eat, which helped. So we boarded the train, which we probably would have missed if Emily didn't get my ass out of bed the way she did. Now when you have a sleeper car, like we did, you get a car attendant. We were graced with the wonderful presence of a southern gentleman. His name was Dwayne. And Dwayne... well, Dwayne really liked us.

He loved the fact that we were from Pittsburgh and we found out that he had been on the season ticket waiting list for upwards of 17 years or so, and that was the lucky number! So fingers crossed that he got them!! The interesting thing about Dwayne is how he would stand when he would talk to us. The best was we could describe it is the "naked pose". Now boys come on, you all know this pose. You stand leaning against a wall with your hand to support you and you slightly bow your head. Its really effective and attractive.

above is an example of Emily doing the naked pose

Dwayne freaked us out with his naked pose. We wouldn't even leave our little room in case we would have to run into him or God forbid pass him in one of the little hallways have have to rub up against him! Yuck!

Although, in order for us to get our beds down, we would have to let him in. So we told him when we were planning on eating dinner and asked him that if he would lower our beds when were at dinner, that way we would have less Dwayne time.

We ended up leaving and going back to our room without any run ins with Dwayne. The next morning we woke up and realized that we would have to have another encounter with him. So we kept our blinds shut decided that going hungry was going to be better than having a chance run in with him. Well he must have noticed that we didn't eat because he knocked on our door and we answered. He asked if we went to breakfast and we lied and said we had. He told us that he didn't' notice us leaving. He then asked us to step out so he could change our beds back into seats.

That was the last time we ever saw him. I really hope that we don't ever run into him at a Steelers game. He would probably remember us and we would have to see that naked pose again. That is to much to handle.

Morals of this story:

1. Don't drink a ton the night before you have to travel-especially if the stuff you are drinking it sickly sweet

2. The naked pose is not effective and never will be. It is creepy

3. Boys that drink wine sloppily isn't attractive either. I don't like watching red wine being spilt all over a white tablecloth.

4. You can't hide on a train, creepy car attendants will find you.

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